Jack
by snapesdarkcellomusic
Summary: What happens when a little Jack gets between two doctors. HouseCuddy
1. Chapter 1

Unfortunately, I do not own House (If I did, there would be some black leather involved, JK, ;D )

This is just a one time thing, maybe a sequel, but doubt it. I split it up no make it easier, next half should be up soon.

Summary: What happens when a little Jack gets involved between two doctors.

Pairing: House/Cuddy

ENJOY!

"See? I can be a nice guy. What would you have ever done without me?"

"We would have had to stay a poor pheasant hospital forever."

"Oh, sure, like that would ever happen."

"You asked, but I still want to thank you for getting us the money. How the hell did you get that much money anyway?"

"Oh, you know, the usual, save a life or two, kiss enough ass to need chap-stic, and BAM, 2 mill. in the bank for our poor little hospital."

"You kissed some ones ass? I would have never thought of _you_ to do such a thing like that, Greg House."

"Oh, you're just jealous because I never kiss your ass. So are we just sitting in this pleasantly lit bar for the atmosphere or is there going to be some alcohol consumed? Because if not, I'm outa here."

"Get what you want it's on me."

"On you or your other now wonderfully larger bank account?"

"The latter."

"Ok," and he waved the bartender over and ordered a beer, and told him, "I don't know what she wants, ask the queen herself."

As much as Greg House sometimes bugged the hell out of her, running the hospital just wouldn't be the same without him. He never gave up, she could give him that , and on rare occasions he could be nice, even perhaps, if the weather was right, charming. She pushed the thoughts out of her head, and ordered a dry martini.

"What?" House said as if she had an elephant on her head. "The prim, pretty, goody-good Lisa Cuddy drinks alcohol! I thought we were just here to get me smashed so I couldn't remember what I did for the Hospital. Sheesh." He downed the rest of his beer and ordered another one. She rolled her eyes and ordered another martini.

"Do you ever wonder who ever thought of putting the little olive on a stick in a little glass of such delightful substance?" he asked her. She smiled because only House would ask that, every one else would just think about it, but he would say it.

"No, I haven't," she replied to him. She finished her drink and ordered another. House seemed impressed, the sincerity of it she did not know.

"Quite a little drinker we have here. To tell you a secret," he leaned over and whispered into her ear, "I'm on step 2." He sat back and winked at her. "You know. I could probably drink you under the table."

"I doubt it. I could drink my brothers under."

"Cuddy that shirt you have on is the most beautiful colour of cleavage, and it goes so nicely with the blue of your eyes."

"Don't change the subject because there was a small chance of you losing at something to me," Cuddy went on smoothly.

"Me! Change the subject? Never!"

"So you still think you can drink me under the table?"

"Yes."

"I'll take you up on that offer. Get out your medicinal coin and flip. I'll call. Loser pays."

"Pays for what? You said you were going to-"

"No, you idiot. Pay for the other booze. There's no way I'm getting completely plastered in a bar."

"Fine then." He flipped the coin and Cuddy said "Tails". It landed tails and he cursed. "You cheated. You know how poor us doctors are, I won't be able to afford it."

"Yes, you are so underpaid," she said sarcastically as she paid the bill, and they left the bar.

"Where are we going to go to have this contest?"

"Well, my house is just a few blocks that way, and I know that there I a beer store on the way there."

"Alrighty, off we go to prove that I will always be on top, and therefore better than you."

"In your dreams."

"Ooo. How did you know? Have you been going through my diary again? Enjoying those fantasies about you? I like the dirty bits myself." He stopped walking. "Especially the ones in the elevator, oooh." He shivered. Cuddy kept on walking. He was the only man on earth who could say something like that and come out alive.

"Hey, wait for the gimp," he wobbled a little faster to catch up with her. They walked into the liquor store. "What'll we get today?" House asked her, but she was already gone down one of the isles. "Where are you going, Missy?" He followed.

"To get the booze, what did you think?"

"I don't know. Maybe you saw something shiny and wanted to follow it." Cuddy kept walking. She got to where she wanted and pulled down two bottles of Jack Daniels.

"Ah, what the hell. Could use some of this around the house." And she pulled another one down. She walked down the isle the way she came, passing House.

"Damnit, woman. Make up your mind on where you want to go!" He hobbled to the cash register where Cuddy was and paid. They went the few more blocks to her house, and she let them in. Once inside, House sat himself down on her couch. He grabbed one of the bottles and opened it up. He was getting ready to take a drink when Cuddy interrupted.

"Hold on, this has to be fair," and she opened her bottle up.

" It would have been in your advantage to have me start on the bottle before you."

"I want to beat you fair and square."

"Can't you just beat me off?" Cuddy rolled her eyes. She took a drink, and House shrugged, downing some of his own.

UU UU UU UU

"Remember," Cuddy sat between fits of giggles, "that one woman at the clinic with really big tits?"

"Yah, and I had to have Wilson come in for a second opinion. I really only wanted to share her breasts with him."

"Men are such pigs." They fell onto each other, laughing. The two empty bottles were on the floor, and the third was being passed between them.

UU UU UU UU

Cuddy woke up and cursed at the light coming through the window. She sat up in bed and noticed that she was naked. She also noted that she felt like shit. She looked down at the floor and saw the three empty bottles.

"I'm naked, and the booze is gone. That is never a good sign," she said aloud to herself. She heard a grumble, and looked over in the bed to see a naked House. He sat up and looked at her.

"Did we-?"

"Judging by the empty bottles and lack of clothing, I would say yes." House raised his eyebrows a little. He had given Ms. Proper the shag, and he also couldn't help but to notice that Ms. Proper was still in her Birthday suit. He watched her get out of bed and put on a pair of red lace panties with delight and growing heat between his legs. His eyes lingered a little longer as she confined her beautiful breasts into a matching bra. _So that's what's underneath. Hmm…_ he thought to himself. She came back from her closet with a skirt and a shirt.

"You know you still have to do clinic duty today, no matter how good you might have been."

"But Mommy, I want to ride the pony." She threw his pants at him. "Fine I'll get up." He swung his legs out of bed and Cuddy couldn't help but to notice how well developed he was. He swung like a goddamn pendulum. "What, no boxers?"

"I couldn't find them"

"Sure. You probably just want to keep them as a momentum of this occasion."

"Shut up and get dressed."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry 'bout the incorrect spelling of peasant in the first half. (I had spelled it pheasant, like the bird, ;D)

House scowled and shrugged on his shirt. He winced. "What the hell did you do to me woman?" Cuddy looked at him as he looked at his back in the mirror. There were eight red scratches on his back. "What was that for?" he asked, looking at her like a beaten puppy.

"I having the screw of my life and wanted you to know it," Cuddy said, half-sarcastically. She didn't remember much of the night before, but she knew that he had been good. She had only scratched up a guy like that once before. House put his shirt back on and buttoned it up. They left her bedroom, and House headed for the kitchen. "I don't think so. We're going to be late as it is, you don't need to get something to eat."

"But I'll shrivel away to nothing."

"You can get something at the hospital."

"But…"

"Shut up and get in the car."

"Oooh, I wonder if you were like that last night. That would have been fun." Cuddy shot him a glare and he got in her car. At the hospital, they decided that it really didn't matter if people saw them come in together.

"You know, it's all your fault," House said as they walked into the elevator.

"My fault? You are the one who said 'Let's make a contest out of getting drunk off our ass.' "

"You agreed."

"I wanted to prove that you are not always the best."

"It's still your fault." House left her standing there. He met up with Wilson on the way to his office.

"So how'd the date go with Cuddy?" Wilson asked.

"It wasn't 'date' "

"Sure."

House sat down in his chair and winced against the stinging in his back.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"OK, sure, you're getting that old. Bullshit, take off your shirt."

"No."

"Why not? Hiding something Greg?"

"I am most certainly not!"

"Then take you shirt off."

"No. I'll get nippley."

"Well, then I'll get have to tell everyone that you got a pink unicorn tattooed on your back."

"I'll take it off. Cheater." He unbuttoned his shirt, and took it off. Wilson looked at his back.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell happened here? It looks like- Fingernail scratches. But how, you haven't gotten laid in year- Wait," he looked at House. "Cuddy? You?"

"Yes, we fucked, did the cha-cha layin' down."

"I wouldn't think she would…"

"What are you saying I'm unattractive?"

"No it's just- How-"

"I bet her that I could drink more than her, we got plastered and screwed. Happy, Mr. Gossip?" Wilson stared at him.

"So how was it?"

"How am I supposed to remember? I was too boozed up."

"So nothing. You can't remember a thing?"

"Um, yah."

"I hope she's on the pill. Wouldn't want and little Houses or Cuddys running around. Wilson left House, and he put on his shirt.

In her meetings Cuddy couldn't help but to notice that she was more tense than normal. She felt that people could tell what had happened the night before. And also how she ached in places that hadn't ached in a while. Not listening to the boring speaker, she tried to remember if she had taken her Pill the last few days.

She hoped she had.


End file.
